I hear the self-blame in those words. The shame. The way you replay every red flag you think you should have seen, every moment you think you should have left, but instead gave him “one more chance”. The guilt of exposing your children to that environment for far too long. The confusion of trying to reconcile “till death do us part” with saving your own life and your kids’ future. The memories of praying for change, of believing things would get better, of trying to “be a better Christian wife” as if that would stop the abuse.
You didn’t stay because you were weak – you stayed because you were strong. Strong in your commitment, strong in your faith and wanting to walk out your love for God, strong in your hope for change. The same resilience that kept you there is the strength that finally helped you leave. You stayed because abuse is complex – it’s like a fog that rolls in so gradually you don’t realize you’re lost until you can barely see. You stayed because abusers don’t start with violence – they start with love-bombing, with twisted scripture, with isolated incidents they swear will never happen again.
Remember Psalm 91:3, which speaks of being delivered from the fowler’s snare? A fowler’s snare is designed to be invisible. You didn’t walk into obvious abuse – you were slowly entangled. But here’s the beautiful truth: God’s view of marriage never included abuse. When David was being hunted, God led him to safety. When Hagar was abused, God met her in the wilderness and gave her a new future. He’s doing the same for you. Your children didn’t need to see you stay – they needed to see you love yourself enough to leave, to show them that God’s love doesn’t require enduring abuse.
Healing Exercise for Christian Divorced Moms
This week, take time to write a letter. Pretend this letter is to your best friend going through this exact same situation. Feeling exactly like you do now. What would you say to encourage her, to help her move on? What scriptures would you use to bring truth to her life? Put the letter in a drawer and open it in a week. Soak in all the words, the scripture, the love and compassion.
Walking Forward in Faith After Divorce
As Christian mothers navigating life after an abusive marriage, we often carry burdens that were never ours to bear. The journey to healing begins with understanding that leaving wasn’t a failure of faith—it was an act of courage rooted in God’s love for you and your children.
Scripture reminds us that God is “close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). In your new chapter, embrace the healing presence of a Father who values your safety and wholeness.
Rebuilding Your Identity as a Christian Single Mother
Many divorced Christian women struggle with their identity after leaving an abusive marriage. Keep close to your heart that your worth isn’t defined by your marital status, but by being a beloved daughter of God. As you parent your children with newfound freedom, you’re modeling healthy boundaries and authentic faith—gifts that will shape their understanding of God’s true character.
Finding Community After Divorce
Seek out supportive communities that understand the unique challenges of Christian single motherhood after abuse. As a subscription member of our Hopeful Healing Boxes, you meet with us two times a month, once for a fun activity and get to know you and once for a question and answer session with me.
Your story isn’t over—it’s being rewritten with grace, truth, and the promise of restoration that only God can provide.
xo – Kristi
