They Left You Hanging…
I know it hurts when people you counted on just disappear. It’s a total shock when friends you thought would always be there just… aren’t. It stings when you see them still liking your ex’s posts. And don’t get me started on family members saying stuff like, “He seems perfectly nice to me” or “He never really did anything to me.”
Church friends suddenly act weird around you, like divorce is something they might catch. Some treat you like you’re less holy now. And watching your kids’ grandparents choose your ex over their promises to your children? That’s a special kind of delight.
All those people who swore they’d be there “for better or worse” bailed when your “worse” wasn’t what they expected. Trust me, I know it hurts way more than you thought it would.
When Old Friends Choose “Teams”
After my divorce, a friend we’d had for 15 years called me and said, “Sorry Kristi, I’m picking ___ on this.” Then – gone. Ouch. Well, except for the snarky comments he’d leave on social media about me. Ah, maturity, right?
You’re Not the First (Seriously)
You’re not alone in this experience. Jesus faced betrayal from his closest friends. Even Peter, who vowed never to leave, denied knowing Jesus three times during his darkest hour.
She lost everything and everyone- her husband, her homeland, everyone she knew. She moved somewhere totally new with no friends, no family, and no clue about how things worked there. Talk about starting over!
It Gets Better (Not Just Saying That)
Here’s the thing – God specializes in redemption. This includes building new families and friendships from the ashes of what’s been lost. The pain feels overwhelming now, but healing will come.
God will bring new people who understand your journey without requiring explanations or pretense. These people choose you intentionally, not from obligation or history.
Your New Crew Might Surprise You
Sometimes your biggest supporters come from places you’d never expect. After my divorce, I looked around and realized most of my friends were busy homeschool moms with their own lives and families.
And, even though I’m totally an introvert, I used a meetup app to find people with similar interests. I almost chickened out of this singles lunch thing, but my kids pushed me out the door! Best thing ever – I met my bestie there, and we’ve been friends for 10 years!
The Last Word
Here is truth: the people who left aren’t entitled to witness the incredible person you’re becoming or the magnificent transformation you’re under going. They aren’t your whole story – they’re just part of the chapter that’s ending – and God has big plans for the chapters that are just beginning.
xo – Kristi
