I see you scrolling through social media, each new photo of him with someone else feeling like a punch to the gut. The awful feeling when mutual friends mention how “happy” he seems now? Been there. Those nights lying in bed wondering what she has that you don’t? Lived it. Questioning why everything was just disposable to him – you, your marriage, your family?
I’ve been exactly where you are, crying in my pillow at 2 AM, feeling like yesterday’s trash while he’s out living his “best life.” The pain is real, and I won’t pretend it isn’t.
A Truth That Changed Everything
But here’s one truth I hope you really take to heart, because it certainly changed my life: Words only hold as much value as the person saying them is credible.
Think about this simple analogy. During the Great Depression, banks failed. Here’s what I mean: take the FDIC. It was created to protect money deposited in banks. It’s backed by the full faith and credit of the US Government (think of this what you will) I’m just saying you probably believe the FDIC is credible or you wouldn’t believe they could keep your money safe and you wouldn’t put your “treasure” in there.
Now – think on this – money is of no value in the grand scheme of things, the big picture of life. But, you are totally willing to believe and hinge your whole entire worth, your whole entire value, your spiraling thoughts and empty space in your mind on the words of someone who is absolutely not credible at all. And, if you’re completely honest, his words haven’t been credible for many, many years.
His careless treatment of you, your children, your marriage and your life says things about HIS character and NOTHING about your worth or value.
A Promise Backed by Honor
I know this is easier said than done, and I know it takes time – but here is a Psalm to ponder in light of this truth:
“I praise your name for your unfailing love and faithfulness; for your promises are backed by all the honor of your name. You encourage me, you give me strength, though I am surrounded by troubles, you protect me; you reach out your hand and save me; you work out your plans for my life; you don’t abandon me because you made me.”
The honor of His name is the reason God is credible and your ex is not. And what does HIS word provide? encouragement, strength, protection, salvation, and a safe refuge. WOW!
Building Your New Life, Brick by Brick
Stop spiraling and giving your ex so much of your head space. You need to fill your mind with truth because you have a life to live. A good life!
God is rebuilding your foundation, brick by brick. You partner with God in this work every time you choose not to check social media, another brick. Every time you focus on you and your kids and your new life instead of his new life, another brick. Every time you do anything for you, another brick.
This Week’s Challenge
This week, take this challenge – every time you’re tempted to check his social media, reach out to him about nothing, allow his disrespect to override what God says about you- put $1 in a jar (or marbles or pennies). At the end of the month, see how full the jar is. It will be a great visual about how much time you’re giving him. If you do use dollars, take the money and spend it on for something just for you – even if it’s just 2 days and $2, you can buy a soda and take a walk with a friend who sees your worth.
You ARE worthy and amazing. You’re doing a fantastic job with lifing. Don’t let someone with questionable credibility tell you otherwise.
xo – Kristi
