There’s this weird moment that happens after divorce — that split second when you freeze.
The moment you realize you don’t actually recognize the woman staring back at you in the mirror.
There are good things about her, sure… but what about the whole thing?
Somewhere along the way, your identity got twisted into a pretzel — wrapped around who everyone else needed you to be.
To survive.
To keep appearances.
To keep secrets.
You became the behind-closed-doors version. The church-appropriate version. The don’t-rock-the-boat version.
Until one day, you wake up and realize you’ve been living from the outside in — not the inside out.
Untwisting that pretzel is messy work. It means asking hard questions like:
- Who am I if I’m not a wife anymore?
- What do I love now that no one else is deciding for me?
- What parts of me were real… and what parts were just survival?
And here’s the thing: you’re not becoming someone new — you’re remembering who you were all along.
Before the labels.
Before the performance.
Before the heartbreak.
You’re peeling back layers and meeting the woman God originally designed — the one who laughed out loud, dreamed too big, prayed with tears, and showed up with her whole heart.
That’s what the Know Yourself part of the Hopeful Healing Box is really about — it’s not just another theme, it’s an invitation.
A reminder that healing is a process — one step, one truth, one rediscovery at a time.
It’s about finding the pieces of your soul that got shoved to the back of the closet behind everyone else’s needs… and gently pulling them back into the light.
Maybe you pick up a hobby you used to love.
Maybe you answer, “artist,” “writer,” or “teacher” the next time someone asks what you do.
Maybe you just change how you think about yourself — not as broken, but as becoming.
If you’ve been feeling tangled up — like a pretzel of expectations, old roles, and pretend — take heart.
The untwisting is possible.
It’s slow. It’s tender. It’s worth every single turn.
You’re not starting over; you’re coming home to yourself.
And this time, you get to be fully you.
xo ♥️
Kristi